Dried Purple Rose

Both Roses and Marriages can Dry Up

Like flowers dry up and get thrown away so do relationships unless you keep them rooted in good nutrient rich soil, plenty of sunlight, the right amount of water, and protected from insects and disease. 

For a relationship you need similar things:

Rooted: Be willing to compromise with your partner to solve problems that arise. Don’t let breaking up be an option, have working things out as the only option. When there isn’t an out you are more likely to work on solving rather dissolving.

Soil: Don’t keep your relationship in a negative environment. Keep everything positive; in your language, your tone, and the friends or family that you hang out with.

Nutrients: Lack of selfishness. Doing things for your partner that fill the needs that they have and desire from the relationship. Compliments, support, listen, and being present in your relationship.

Sun: Kisses, hugs, and making love.

Water: Time spent together reconnecting.

Insect & Disease Protection: Recognizing and stopping negative, degrading, mean and rude comments and behavior.

I spent an hour on the metro bus with a young woman traveling home from work. As we talked she was surprised that I had been married 34 years and my daughter had been married 12 years. She couldn’t see that a couple could get along well enough to stay married for many years.

Spreading suggestions to keep couples happy together is a passion of mine just for this reason. It is possible and I want everyone who wants to keep their relationship healthy and happy to have the tools to do it. If this is your desire and you want to keep your marriage happy and avoid divorce I offer a program where you as a couple can find the nutrients, sun, water and protection to keep your relationship fresh rooted and alive.

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Ice Cream Sundae for Two

Sitting at the soda fountain sharing a Hot Fudge Sunday on Hollywood Blvd. just reeks of romance. As part of you journey planner Disney’s Soda Fountain and Studio Store is one stop on Hollywood Blvd. that just begs you to stop and go back in time for a few moments while you watch the waiter in a red and white uniform make your sundae served couple style with two spoon and of course finished off with two cherries on top. The staff were so freindly and the place so cute right down to Miney and Mickey on the napkins that who could resist? Keep Hollywood Blvd and Disney’s Soda Fountaion and Studio Store in your journey planner for couple travel.

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Church in Los Angeles

Attending religious services together as a couple can strengthen the relationship. There are many times that religion is one of the things that can cement couples together or tear them apart. As a couple you must come to an agreement and binding of souls where religion or church is concerned. If you can participate and believe in the same religion and attend those services together it will bring you closer together. I believe that God can have real power for good in your relationship if you will let him. Couples who worship together statistically will be happier and have better marriage success.

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There is a reason that sex is not exciting or fun anymore. If your relationship doesn’t include making love anymore or things have wound down to almost never or only occasionally there is a reason. Women are more likely to stopping sex in a relationship than a man. I think Harrison Ford pretty much said it all in the movie “Seven Days, Six Nights” after Anne Heche showed him her magazine with an article on ways to excite a man his response was, “You know how a woman gets a man excited? She shows up. That’s it. We’re guys, we’re easy.” Now let me qualify that, showing up and wanting to make love.

The following are all root causes for an individual to avoid or not enjoy making love with their partner anymore.

Lack of confidence in one’s body:

If a woman doesn’t like her body or is afraid of showing it off this can dampen her ability to get turned on when it comes time to make love. This can be overcome by wearing lingerie or clothing that she finds sexy that will accent the parts of the body that they do like about themselves. Taking time to appreciate their body and compliment themselves in a mirror on all parts of their body over time will build an appreciation and love of their body so that they aren’t shy about sharing it with their partner.

Knowing their partner is not attracted to their body type:

Comments made by a partner about someone else body or even about their body can have long lasting effects on how they feel about wanting their partner to touch or see their body. Let me tell you a quick story. On the way to the beach the couple next to us had a conversation that I am sure damaged their sex life. The man said I hope that it isn’t all older fat women laying out on the beach. I looked at his wife. She was 50+ and overweight. From her expression I am sure she was thinking, “That’s me. If he had the choice he wouldn’t look at me. He can’t like my body. He’s probably repulsed when he sees me naked. I don’t ever want him to touch me again. What a jerk!” Don’t think this is extreme. This is pretty accurate how the thinking goes. The more that he displays this attitude the less she wants to be naked around him and the less she believes that he loves her. It doesn’t take long for there to be real problems in the bedroom. While we are on this subject let me say I have heard men say: I am a big boob man and his wife’s are small, or worse having a man say, “I feel sorry for my wife but she could always get a boob job.” What women would believe that her husband liked her boobs after that? We could look at what happens when a wife says things about other men or her husband and find the same thing, although usually men don’t take it to heart as much as women.

Not feeling appreciated or valued:

Feeling valued and appreciated are two human needs that we all respond to. When someone in the relationship feels like they are taken for granted or they don’t get the validation they need from their partner they will start to separate themselves from the relationship. Most of the time at first they don’t even realize that this is happening, it is just instinctive. The result is to look elsewhere for validation that makes them feel that they are worthwhile and appreciated. It is each partner’s responsibility to make sure their partner feels appreciated and valued.

Nervousness or lack of confidence in love making ability:

There are various reasons why someone ends up feeling like this but usually it is something their partner or someone close to them has told them. Sometimes it is a medical or health condition. It is never ok to put down or criticize your partners love making skills. Be tactful and loving in your discussions on love making.

Bitter or hurt feelings:

When one or both partners have hurt feelings it can quickly turn into bitterness. Love making is no longer love making if these feelings are not resolved.

Pain or discomfort:

There are some people that certain positions or types of touching can be painful or uncomfortable. As a couple you need to address this and find other ways that feel good to that person so that you can both enjoy it. It is a good idea to talk to your doctor as well.

Medical problems:

There are medical problems and drugs that can affect a person’s ability to perform or to enjoy intimacy. Seek medical attention when these arise.


Infidelity can cause the adulter to feel guilt and he or she may then avoid making love with their lawful partner. One spouse may suspect the other of infidelity and then avoid love making as well. Whichever it is you need to talk and work it out otherwise you will probably end up apart where otherwise you might be able to work it out.

Uncomfortable with position and or love making styles:

Everyone has different experiences and introductions to sex. Because of this talking about what each person enjoys, is interested in, or wants is essential. I heard some great advice on this; anything goes as long as you are both comfortable and agree with it and no one is hurt or demeaned by it.

Personal infractions:

Touching should be when and where the receiver enjoys. Don’t force unwanted or touching that is repulsive to the receiver. Learn what and where touching is a turn on and use that as your guide.

Feeling that they have to do it:

I hear this mostly from women. They say they feel like they have to do it that there is no spontaneity. That it feels more like being used than being loved. Frequency and timing should be mutually agreed upon. There is usually one person that would like it more often. Couples vary as to being morning people and night people. Compromise is what makes for a happy union.

All of these also are a result of lack of communication. You have to speak up and say what you like and don’t like. Talk out problems you are having. It is not enough to just talk, you both must listen and compromise so that you both find fulfillment. It can’t be all one sided or bitterness then revulsion sets in, the love making skids to a stop. Keep the communication open and be intuitive to your partners needs and wants and you should be cuddling up a lot more often.

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It might seem that even after your best efforts at what you feel is “being romantic” that you just don’t get the response that you expected. You probably watched a movie or overheard someone say what to do to be romantic or maybe how to kiss a women for a romantic kiss and you went and did just that and your someone special laughed or turned up her nose. She might not even have liked what you did. It might have turned out so bad that she was turned off by your romantic efforts. Don’t give up!

Here are some sure fire romance tips that will get you put into the romantic hero category where your woman if concerned. Find out what is romantic to her. Not every girl likes the same thing.

  • Does she love flowers or hate them. If flowers are her romantic turn on, what kind? Even if flowers mean romance to her she might not like roses even though roses are supposedly the flower of romance. Make giving her flowers worth the effort, give her the kind of flowers that will resonate with her soul. I know my daughter in law doesn’t care for flowers but she loves going for a walk with her hubby. So make sure you know your gals preference. That is how to be romantic.
  • If you have been together for a while do you have a special song, a song that she equates with your love. If she does be sure to point it out whenever it plays. Don’t wait for her to have to tell you. If you recognize it and bring it up it will melt her heart.
  • Personal touching is another area that can be a big turn on or turn off! Most likely coming up and grabbing or touching body parts with out first working slowly up to that or waiting for her to get into it could cost you big time. Take personal touching at her pace.
  • Romantic evenings are another area to pay attention to. Does she like candles and music? Does she like word play before foreplay? Maybe she is a “just get to it” kinda gal. See, you should know what will be romantic to her and what will be a turn off.
  • Kissing is yet again an area that requires personalization. Kissing a woman’s hand used to be a sign of romance, I am not so sure that would float anyone’s boat today. But it might! Find out what style of kissing she finds romantic. Is french kissing a turn on or turn off? Does she like to be lightly held, bear hugged, dipped or your hands on her neck or face during kissing? Knowing how to kiss a woman with a romantic kiss will make a difference.
  • Is she a fan of dancing? If she is this is always romantic to her even if your not a “Dancing With The Stars” award winning dancer. Just hold her and move.
  • Find out what her favorite treat is. Is chocolate her taste turn on? Just because the advertising industry says it is doesn’t make it so for everyone. I personally like Red Hots and Bottle Caps, the cola ones. It’s not that I don’t like chocolate, I do, but I have a daughter that doesn’t like milk chocolate but she does like white chocolate. See, you really do have to find out before spending money and doling out gifts that don’t get you any romantic effect.
  • Is holding hands as far as she wants you to go in showing affection in public?  Does she like to have you put your arm around her to show that you claim her and are proud to be with her? Maybe it is a turn on to be kissed cuddled or hugged in public.
  • Most likely one of the big romantic potions for women is to be told “I love you” out loud, verbally. There is something magical about being told that you are special and that you are loved. While we are on this subject try a little flirting. This shouldn’t stop just because you got the girl. Flirting and romance go hand in hand. Flirting and sincere complimenting will open the flood gates to receiving romantic overtures.
  • Writing a love letter, sending or bringing a card are things that can be kept and read and reread later. So this is something that will payoff again and again. Remember be sure that it is lovey mushy stuff not vulgar or inappropriate language or content.
  • For women romance leads to sex not sex leads to romance. That seems to be an opposite for men and women.

Being romantic can be how to kiss woman, making it a romantic kiss, giving flowers, her favorite treat or candy, spending time together, doing a chore for her, writing a love letter, flirting or playing the right music. All of these may or may not be the case. This is for you to find out, remember and then put into action those things that would most closely match what your partner feels is romantic to them.

Honing in on what your partner considers romantic, enjoys or is turned on by will bring you the results that you want and make your effort worthwhile.

Here is a cute video that I saw on youtube that shows a guy trying to be romantic and then ruining it at the last minute but he did have the right idea on how to be romantic.

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Muiden and Marken, two of the best travel destinations in Holland, Netherlands. In this video show I share with you some of the places from our road trip day trip from Amsterdam.

Let me let me be your journey planner. A preview of the places that you want to visit to make your journey planner easier more pleasant and make your trip more fun.

Muidenslot Castle is great because it really feels like a castle both in looks and in touring. You can pretend that you are the King and Queen and imagine your life if you lived in that day and place. How would relationship differ? How would your life differ?

The gardens around Muiden Muidenslot Castle are superb. I was especially fascinated by the tree in the center that has been trimmed and trained to be in layers. As you walk across the moat, yes a real moat all the way around Muidenslot Castle, you enter another era.

On up the coast is Marken a Netherlands village with a yacht harbor surrounded by shops and restaurants and houses in the authentic green and black that have will take you back in time to the original Holland. Some of the people in the shops are even dressed in the original costumes. Be sure to park in the designated parking area as they are sharing their town with the tourists but still need to keep their streets and driveways free of traffic.

The rule of travel should always be to show respect to the residents of the country and cities that you visit. Remember you are a guest in the place that they live and they have a right to enjoyment it!

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Today I hope to be a student of Oprah again. I so appreciate Oprah. Through her years of service to us on TV I have learned much. I want to thank her for her idea on a gratitude journal, her inspiring true love of people & her belief in making a difference in the lives of others. I try to help and encourage everyone I can to increase the happiness in their lives through marriage tips and help to experiencing the wonders of the world through couple travel. As I recently drove through Africa I thought about everything she has done to help children. My ultimate goal is to raise funds through helping people on my websites and then having the ability to start a program to teach children (teens) how to take their ideas and dreams and turn them into businesses and match them up with successful mentors. I would thank Oprah for making a difference in my life so that I can pay it forward and hopefully become one in a chain that changes the world. I am so glad that she is back helping the world with her talents. I am a fan! You might want to join her group too. She has a facebook page with the information on it. Visit Today

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Ask yourself the following questions:

Has your marriage become –

  • Devoid of the affection that you once both craved and gave so freely?
  • Surrounded by a dark cloud of resentment between each other?
  • Failing to thrive in love due to emotional neglect?
  • Mournful with self loss rather than full of love because of emotional separation?
  • Confusing, scary ground with no one meeting anyone halfway?
  • Bitter and stinging with crushing fights from every attempted conversation?
  • Absent of any appreciation with every good deed taken for granted?
  • One-sidedly selfish and boorish?
  • Lacking any element of interest it once had-including sexual excitement and intimacy?
  • Deserted with no feeling of being a couple?
  • Harshly saddled with constant criticism?

If your relationship is sadly checking some, or to your horror, all of the above boxes, then you know that you need to rebuild trust and repair damage with your marriage.

The pain of a broken, failing marriage is real. Serious. It isn’t to be ignored. Don’t wait until you are hit with the shocker of a request for divorce.

You know that, and Relationship Castle Marriage Home Study Program “Attaining Happiness in Marriage in 7 Easy Steps provides a solid program for taking real action.

What is the Relationship Castle Marriage Home Study Program “Attaining Happiness in Marriage in 7 Easy Steps?”

“Attaining Happiness in Marriage in 7 Easy Steps” is a full-service program with multimedia options from videos to PDF documents that encapsulates the wisdom of creator Debbie Gerber’s over 30 years of marriage with easy-to-relate-to stories form all the couples part of the research process of Relationship Castle Program “Attaining Happiness in Marriage.”

“Attaining Happiness in Marriage” is the most comprehensive program available, built of the foundation of thousands of strong marriages and the vital lessons of less-than-strong marriages that needed repair.

If you’re ready to save your marriage, take my seven simple steps in “Attaining Happiness in Marriage” : enroll now!

Still unsure about Relationship Castle?

You can invest in this marriage saver with confidence thanks to my 60-day guarantee: if you don’t see real results in your marriage after taking the action described in Relationship Castle, I will refund you the full purchase price.

P.S. For a limited time, when you purchase Relationship Castle you’ll also receive special bonus material you can’t find anywhere else, including the ebook “101 Fun Dates” and The new ebook: “100 Ways to Reignite the Passion.” protect yourself in divorce guide. Let me help you fortify your relationship castle.

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This video is about sharing treats together where ever you are in the world. Experiencing new things together and finding out what you both enjoy or don’t adds another dimension to your relationship. Can’t wait until we find another treat to share that we haven’t had before or maybe an old favorite from the past. Mmmmm…..

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This episode of http://www.happymarriage.tv Show #26 is a travel video for Couple Travel in Gouda and Aalsmeer Holland, Netherlands. This couple vacation trip with sightseeing things to see and do in Gouda and things to see and do in Aalsmeer shows the worlds largest flower market Flora Holland, Bloemenveiling Aalsmeer, or Flower auction as well as Gouda cheese and holland parking.

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